As we had discussed earlier my areas of concern can be illustrated in the attached paper, Order 142013236(10)(3)
The first correction of the phrase “risk in mood,” to “mood swings” gives two different meanings.
Risk in mood is a medical phrase for the increased chances of a person getting psychological and mental illnesses or even committing suicide.
Mood swings refers to the ordinary changes in human feelings such as experiencing happiness or depression in different times.
The second correction
“…BDP is associated with various causes such as genetics, brain abnormalities…” which was changed to “…BDP is caused due to genetics, brain abnormalities, and by reason of difficult childhood…”This two statements do not have the same meaning.
“…BDP is associated with various causes such as genetics, brain abnormalities…” This statement simply implies the probable causes of BDP. Actually, it does not state that those are the causes since BDP has no known cause.
“…BDP is caused due to genetics, brain abnormalities, and by reason of difficult childhood…” This statement is misleading since BDP has no known cause. Moreover, it does not sound to be grammatically correct.
The third correction
“…a child who expresses hostility also expresses an underlying hostile environment at home.” a change to “…a child who expresses hostility also suffers an underlying hostile environment at home,”
“…a child who expresses hostility also expresses an underlying hostile environment at home.” In this statement, I admit that I had an oversight and repeated the words “expresses.” However, the replacement of the word “expresses” with “suffers” gives a new meaning to the statement. In my opinion, a better word would have been “demonstrates”
I do admit that my mentor has been extremely helpful in improving the overall skills of my writers. Moreover, I also realize that as any other human being, she is bound to make a few errors from time-to-time. Nevertheless, I have mentioned to her a few times on areas that I am concerned. However, I fear that if I continue raising to many issues I will appear to be undermining her role as a mentor.