Institutional Affiliation
Extramarital Relations and Men
An extramarital affair is a relationship outside of marriage that involves sexual relationship or a romantic attachment. An extra marital relation may also happen between a married person and a person who is single.  When an extramarital affair involves having sex it may be referred to as adultery or infidelity. People react in different ways to extra marital affairs. Some people get into extramarital relationships looking for self-reassurance that they still look attractive. Other people get into such relationships out of boredom or just to release stress or get back at their partner. Some people just want to explore what is outside their marriage (Schmitt,Men, Women, and Interplanetary Promiscuity,2012).
Studies have shown that men are more likely to cheat or have extramarital affairs as compared to women. A study in Nigeria for instance found that married women are more likely to acquire sexually transmitted diseases due to their husbands’ extramarital sexual activities. The study found that extramarital affairs are influenced by economic inequalities, modern lifestyles, and disparity in gender as well as contradiction in moral values (Smith, Managing men, marriage, and modern love : women’s perspectives on intimacy and male infidelity in southeastern Nigeria, 2007).
Men who depend on their spouses financially are more likely to get into extramarital affairs than men having an equal income with their spouses.  Men feel that they need to prove their masculinity by having an extramarital relationship. This trend is common in cultures highly regard the tradition of masculinity. Women on the other hand were found to remain more faithful when they rely on their spouses financially. The research also found that men are more likely to have extramarital affairs when they have a bigger income than their spouses (Stowell, Modern infidel philosophy, 2013).
Men have been found to be different from women in matters of infidelity. The difference mostly is seen in the way men casually describe infidelity. Most men when men are confronted by their partners about having relations with another woman, they are likely to say that they do not have sexual relations with the said woman. What men don’t understand is that one does not have to have sexual relations with a woman for it to be termed as an extramarital relationship. Previously having extramarital relations involved having physical sexual contact outside marriage (Stowell, Modern infidel philosophy, 2013).
However, things have changed and people can have extramarital affairs without being physically together. A man can have relations with a woman in a different continent through webcam when both parties masturbate mutually. When discovered most men are likely to defend themselves by saying it doesn’t mean anything since the other woman is many miles away in another country or continent and it is unlikely they would meet. Men therefore usually justify such sexual activities and do not see them as extramarital relations making them more likely to continue with such extramarital relations (Takashi,Matsuura,Yahata,Koeda,Suhara, and Okubo,2006).
Some men argue that being males, they have a right to have sexual relations with other women. They feel that they should distribute their seed and grow the human race. Such men hold the top position of Darwin’s sexual food chain and should there engage in extramarital relationships. Some men argue that it is acceptable to have sexual relations outside their relationship with the spouse as long as they make it known to their partners (Stowell, Modern infidel philosophy, 2013).
Studies have shown that men are more likely to feel insecure as compared to women and choose to keep it to themselves. Deep down a man may feel that he is not desirable due to a certain trait like being broke, thin, fat, or old. Such men may turn to porn, flirting with women and extramarital sexual activities so as to feel good about themselves. They engage in such activities to reassure themselves that they are still attractive.
Men are said to have a higher sex drive that women which may make a man have unreasonable expectations of his spouse. Men may expect that their spouses should meet all their sexual and emotional needs at all times. Men don’t understand that women may be having other priorities besides satisfying their men’s sexual needs. This therefore makes most men look for sexual satisfaction and attention outside their relationships and marriages.
Schmitt,D.(2012). Men, Women and Interplanetary Promiscuity.2-5
The main reason why men have a higher likely hood of having extramarital relations than women is because they are more likely to feel insecure. Men get into extramarital relationships to reassure them that they are still attractive and desirable and to get rid of other life insecurities that they might have.
Smith,D.J.(2007). “Modern Marriage, Men’s Extramarital Sex, and HIV Risk in Southeastern Nigeria.” American Journal of Public Health, vol. 97, 2007, pp. 997-1105.
Smith argues that data from all over the world and Nigeria indicate that married women are at risk of contracting sexually transmitted illnesses from their husbands. He states that men are more likely to have multiple extramarital relations as compared to women. The study was conducted in 2 communities in southern Nigeria.
Stowell,H.(2013). Modern infidel philosophy.131-177.
Men who depend on their spouses for financial support are more likely to get into extramarital relations. They do so to prove that they are still men despite being supported by their women. This is especially common in cultures that see the man as the superior gender.
Takashi,H.,Matsuura,M.,Yahata,N.,Koeda,M.,Suhara T.,&Okubo,Y.(2006).Men and women Show distinct brain activations during imagery of sexual and emotional infidelity.121-125.
Men and women show distinct brain activations during imagery of sexual and emotional infidelity.34-48Men are more likely to get into relationships outside marriage because they believe that a man has the right to have multiple sexual partners in order to grow the human race. Having many partners for a man is acceptable for the purpose of procreation.